TESTIMONIAL: And on top of all that other shit, I’m still attracted to black women.

So, I really haven’t been “working” too hard on my “website.”  I have another Fat Man Workout Plan almost ready, but it takes it awhile to edit a half hour of dual camera nonsense and musical gibberish so poorly.
I haven’t really been dieting or following the John’s Juice Weight Management System either.  Apathy, a massive appetite, and full-time laziness have prevented me from giving it a go.  April was supposed to be the month of redemption.  Season 2!  Yet, I’m still the same amount of fat.  That failure being said, April was pretty good


  • On my third attempted semester at a community college (broken up over a span of six sad years) I achieved my first ever 4.0 for a semester… ever.  Even counting grade school!  Turns out that if you just do the homework and stay awake in class — like an adult — you can get an A.  Wish I woulda known that earlier in life…
  • I had consensual, safe, no strings attached sex a few times.  That’s pretty cool.  Don’t know why I’m sharing that, but pretty good.
  • Once school was done on April 20th,  I was able to regain a small remnant of a social life.  Pretty good times with some pretty good people.  Pretty good.
  • Foxy Shazam show on April 30th.  Managed to be a super-fan and get pictures with 4/6 band members.
Got ma picture taken with Eric Nally of Foxy Shazam! I’ve been obsessing over this band since January.


  • Around the time that my coworker offed himself and school work was stacking up to levels I didn’t think I could handle, I went back to an old friend for guidance.  One random cigarette and here I am a month later still smoking.  I had the habit squashed for an entire year and felt much better as a nonsmoker.  I keep putting off quitting, as the memory of the first few days of withdrawal is such a nightmare.  Excuses. The timing is never right.  I have to finish this pack.  I’ll do it on my days off.  I’ll do it after that concert.  Etc.  I have the next three days off, no money, and no plans.  Time to break a habit.
  • Fun costs a lot of money.  I’m not really even having that high of a level of fun and I’m still broke.  Throughout April I spent way too much on concerts, booze, cigarettes (damn it), alcohol, and other.  Not really helping the whole “I’m an adult who still lives at home” situation.

UPDATE:  For season three, which started several days ago… I have this major announcement.
No more seasons.  The whole season thing started as an idea to offer different content every month.  I was going to use it as a schedule.   But once I committed to the schedule, I lost interest in my own website.  Too much work.  All these rules. For season three, the end of seasons, I do whatever I want, whenever I want.  No strings attached is the only way this is going to go down, website.

Oh, and on top of all that other shit, I’m still attracted to black women.  I have a cold and decided that I wasn’t going to fuck around.  I went straight for the pseudoephedrine , you know, the shit that they hide behind the pharmacy because otherwise meth-heads would come in and steal it all.  I noticed a very attractive black woman behind the counter and it was “like at first sight.”  When she greeted me with a lovely Jamaican accent, it was “love at first sound.”  Anyways,  I need to figure out a way to get to know this lady.  No ring!  I checked the ring and there was no ring!

I guess I’m going to have to go to the doctor and get a prescription for something.  “I want that pill from that commercial because I’m pretty sure I have every symptom they described.”  A doctor’s visit or I could just go buy pseudoephedrine every week.  Make her think I’m a meth-head/cook.  Have the feds busting down my door as I try to explain to them “I’m not making meth!  I just wanted to get to know that exotic pharmacist-lady!”

There is a genuine curiousity.  I’m always amazed when I encounter someone foreign living and working in my small town.  The idea of travelling vast distances and leaving everything behind to live in B*********, Michigan amazes me.

Maybe it’s destiny!

Maybe I’m delusional!

Likely the latter.


Author: JuiceJohn

It doesn't have to make cents.

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