I’ve been on vacation for a week and a half.  I’ve been the absolute laziest piece of garbage on the planet and it’s been amazing.  I’ve engorged myself on junk food and laid around in the same clothes for days.  This is living.

As with every Testimonial, here are the highs and lows since the last update.


  • I watched every single episode of HBO’s The Wire.  All 60+ hours.  Once I started, I couldn’t stop… especially since I didn’t really have anything else I had to do.  I don’t need friends; HBO has too many amazing shows to watch.
  • 95. 95. 95. 95.
  • I went to my fourth MC Chris concert with Smiley and was somehow assigned the same parking spot for the fourth time in row.  A weird reoccurring coincidence. The show was okay but nobody really moved or seemed that interested.  The all-beef hot-dog I bought from a sidewalk cart afterwards was better.  Even better than that, somebody’s mom showed me her boobs.  On our way back to the car, we encountered a group of three:  an early 40’s mom, her daughter, and her daughter’s boyfriend.  The young ones started walking ahead as the mother made conversation with us.  When the kids were far enough away, the mother turned to us, pushed out her chest, and said something about not wearing a bra.  Being the polite gentleman that I am, I told her she was perky enough to not need a bra.  She smiled, thanked me, and proceeded to show me her breasts.  Nice.  Good job.  We hugged.  I told her I would think of her later (wink, wink, nudge, nudge.)


  • I started watching Boardwalk Empire and The Newsroom, but I won’t be able to cram all the episodes in before my vacation is over.
  • I’m estimating a fourteen pound weight gain from this staycation.
  • The storm of full time work and school is coming.  The calm is almost over.
  • I feel guilty about not socializing more.  I could’ve gotten out and socialized a lot more, but chose to follow the hijinks of Detective Jim McNulty instead.
  • Everything else.

Author: JuiceJohn

It doesn't have to make cents.

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