I’ve had all sorts of disc golf to play and homework to do, so I failed to write this on Juicejohn.com’s September 7th six month anniversary date.
I started this website on March 7th, 2012 as an outlet to just post whatever I want. At the time I was three months in on my third college semester attempt and every class I selected turned out to be a writing class. After being told what to write about so many times, this blog was my form of a silent protest against the Man. You can’t tell me what to write. I’ll compose a piece about toilet paper and there’s nothing you can do about it...
There are many other outlets I could have chosen, but WordPress had the domain available, so I bought in.
In celebration of my now six month and four day anniversary of producing a blog with 90% original content (everything except the OTHER category;) I’m going to stray away from Testimonial’s usual format where I break down the high’s and low’s of my personal life — and instead analyze the best and worst of my own website.
WHO ARE YOU TO REVIEW: Sierra Nevada Torpedo Ale? This beer was disgusting and my on camera reaction was 100% honest.
NOW YOU KNOW: Druggies and the use of modified sign language. Wanna go blow a dwarf?
JUICE JOHN MARKETING: My issue with a certain toilet tissue. Does a bear shit in the woods? Does it use toilet paper?
WHO ARE YOU TO REVIEW: Fila Texas Ranger tennis shoe? My first attempt at trying to review something besides a beer. Then I drank a beer.
ADOLESCENT POETRY JAM: The Beauty of Winter and Robert Frost’s Poetry. Nobody likes it, but I do. And I’m the only one who matters to me.
THE ARTIST: Accidental Photography. My HTC Windows Phone loves to launch into camera mode… without my consent. I could make about six more of these posts.
ADOLESCENT POETRY JAM: I’m Still Counting. I like to keep myself occupied with nonsense like this.
THE ARTIST: Minimalist Comics: Seasonal Affective Disorder. Thirteen strangers liked this, so that made me like it. Thanks guys!
GOD DAMN GENETICS The whole category.
ADOLESCENT POETRY JAM: House of Lies. I used to webcam the poetry readings for APJ. On this one, I wore make-up… and this video embarrasses me.
NOW YOU KNOW: Why I remain single. I suck at dating or even getting to know someone. This post depresses me because I know the guy who wrote it.
NOW YOU KNOW: I mess up. Deleted scenes, outtakes. I’m weird. I like to edit video, so I record garbage.
JOHN’S JUICE The whole category… even though I had fun doing the Fat Man Workout Plan videos.
THE ARTIST: Juice John Choreography. Fun at the time, but I know that there’s going to come a time where I regret dancing on the internet.
PITCH: PRODUCT: Raisin M&M’s! I thought it was a good idea, but nobody liked it.
THE ARTIST: Minimalist Comics: The price of paper has made me a pauper. I don’t really have a following. I’m not very social and I don’t promote this website’s existence. So when I get a bunch of likes on a post, it makes me want to sell out. That’s what this post was. A bunch of people liked the first Minimalist Comic, so I rushed to make a second one. The joke fell flat, as it wasn’t a joke to begin with. I’m talking some real life shit in this piece.
THE LOWEST OF THE LOW:
I was eighteen and just started to experiment with making music. I made this video for some coworkers who nicknamed me ‘MeatSauce’ and for all the people that chanted “go whiteboy” on commencement day. It’s bad and I like it, but nonetheless it’s a low point in my life.