TESTIMONIAL: Not crazy enough to be diagnosed.

I often find myself stewing over things that shouldn’t bother me or that I couldn’t change to begin with. Loose dogs I couldn’t catch and return to their owners.  Opinions I don’t agree with.  Friends I could have made.  Various opportunities squandered.

I have a tendency to be far too introspective — so when I flop — I suffer a small scale version of Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.

I likely have all sorts of mental issues, but I’m smart enough to know that I shouldn’t get them diagnosed.  I’d rather just assume of conditions and deal with them the best I can, instead of having them permanently labeled upon me by a professional. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life going to therapy and taking prescription drugs.  I don’t need someone with a PhD to call me a “manic depressive” or a “high functioning autistic.”  I have Web MD.  I’ll diagnose myself.

There are definitely moments when I analyse my behavior and ask myself — “Are you bipolar?”

But then I assure myself — “No, you’re schizophrenic. We’re okay.”

To be serious, I’m not happy all the time.  There are days where I feel like shit.  In contrast there are days where I feel like Superman.  I think that’s normal.  A long time ago — in my teenage angst, my family doctor put me on anti-anxiety medication.  After a fortnight of taking it, I felt great every day and was always smiling.  Needless to say, I immediately quit taking it.

I don’t want to be happy everyday.  Some days I want to feel shitty.

Like the day after Thanksgiving.  I want to feel shitty on that day.

Mission Accomplished.

——————————————————

HIGHS:

  • This semester is almost over and I’m maintaining high marks.  I’m excited for the Winter semester — I need a new set of classes to gradually loathe.
  • Thanksgiving was nice and peaceful.  We had a small gathering — and seeing my newborn niece always makes me happy.
  • A girl has a crush on me.  She’s over forty and a lesbian.

LOWS:

  • I tried to broker a peace deal with someone and I don’t think it went over well.  Damn it, the psychological warfare continues.
  • I don’t have any money.
  • A girl has a crush on me.  She’s over forty and a lesbian.
  • Everything else.
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Author: JuiceJohn

It doesn't have to make cents.

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