“Women wear padded bras to make their junk look bigger. I wear padded boxers so my thighs don’t get bruised when I’m walking.”
–Juicejohn joking about his large penis or “thigh-slapper” (which is also a joke.)
UNNECESSARY EXPLANATION OF JOKE: You see, my hypothetical penis in this scenario is so large that something as simple as walking causes it to swing back and forth like a pendulum. With every step I take, my dangle gains momentum and eventually starts to violently slap against my thighs — causing bruises. Henceforth thereto — padded boxers.
I think my work here is done for the week.