NOW YOU KNOW: I support THE GAY AGENDA.

Broad generalization… but I love gay people. Any group that infuriates the Westboro Baptist Church and Rush Limbaugh to such great extents are obviously allies of mine…
At the very least in a ‘my enemy’s enemy is my friend’ sort of way.

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Top reasons I support THE GAY AGENDA:

1. Overpopulation. Scientific fact: two men can’t produce another idiot human that has to finish sending a text before reacting to the green light.

2. Welfare. Less people = less welfare. Factor in adoption by gay couples = even less welfare.
3. Economy. Gay people know how to party. Imagine how much money would be spent for the wedding/reception.
4. Liberty. It’s a word that’s kicked around… often ironically by the Right wing. To me the idea of liberty means that you should live as you see fit without endangering those around you. Wanna rock a cock? Lick a chick? Toke a smoke? I don’t give a shit. That’s your business.
5. Real estate. The worst thing that’s going to happen when a bunch of gay people move into your neighborhood is that property value will skyrocket. The streets will be clean. Rusted pick-up trucks replaced with flower gardens. You might even have neighbors interesting enough to talk to.
6. Shrimp. I use this one too much… but seriously… the Bible prohibits seafood — and yet every town has run-down Red Lobster.
7. Bacon. America is the fattest nation on the planet and is also the most Christian. Pretty sure we’re not following this Biblical bacon rule either. Yet when it comes to gay people, well… we have to treat them as lesser beings. The Book said so!
8. I’m not going to finish this list. Instead, I’m going to go eat some bacon wrapped shrimp.

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Author: JuiceJohn

It doesn't have to make cents.

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