UNBOX: B ack to the Future brought to you by Who Are You to Review and Silver Can Beer.

I’m going to try and keep up with the Unbox gimmick because I don’t feel like working out.


TESTIMONIAL: Distracted away from being distracted.

I haven’t quit on this shitty blog.  I’ve been busy. And I’ve been lazy.
Since January 2012 my life has been work, school, sleep.  Work, school, sleep.  

In this time, social interaction became nonexistent — hence the birth of this blog.  I needed someone to talk to… or just read the stupid words that comes out of my face (or fingers.)

I blogged heavily for a while, but then in February 2013 I met a beautiful girl… online… changing my schedule to work, school, sleep, sleep with girlfriend.
Admittedly, when the Winter semester ended in April, I had plenty of free time.  Hours I could have spent blogging — making shitty minimalist comics or videos of me chugging  beers — and I didn’t.  I’m just not into it at the moment.
Looking at this blog in hindsight is very interesting to me… it’s a very public glance into the loneliness period of my life.  Sad times filled with happiness.


I was a cowboy for about a half hour.
  • Met a nice lady who was a friend of a friend on Facebook.  I didn’t intend to use Facebook as an online dating site, but shit happens.
  • Bonnaroo 2013.
  • My best friend is back.  We “broke up” our “bromance” a year previously, but we’re back together.
  • I have a new mattress.  Now I sleep.
  • I deleted my Facebook account.


  • I deleted my Facebook account.
  • Everything else.

METAPHORANALOGY: Fishing for contentment.

We’re all hungry for happiness, but that’s a slippery fish to catch.  Sometimes it feels like it’s on the line, but it snaps off as you’re reeling it in.

Occasionally… you actually nab it.

Once the fish is on deck, the game isn’t over.  There are a lot of hungry people out there.  Everyone wants a piece and some people will try to steal it away.  Happiness comes with a complimentary side of anxiety.

The point of this post: plug your nose and swallow that anxiety.  Slowly enjoy the main course that you caught with a fishing pole.  Savor every nibble… because somebody out there is shitting on you for eating so well.

PITCH: MOVIE: George W. Bush: War Hero.

I’m watching Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter as I type this.  This movie has inspired me.  Alternate history movies are a great idea!

I want to make a movie in the same vein as AL:VH, but have the protagonist be George W. Bush as he personally hunts down Saddam Hussein and single-handedly unites the Iraqi people.  I’m thinking an action segment where G.W. is caught alone and must fight his way through the hostile streets of Baghdad.   I’m talking G.W. in a tank being a bad-ass.  G.W. in a jet being a bad-ass.  G.W. being a bad-ass in hand to hand combat.  G.W. saying “bad-ass” at least fifty times during the course of the movie.

When G.W. finally encounters Saddam, he lassos him (because G.W. is also a rancher) and publicly hangs him to the roaring cheers of the Iraqi people.  Women flash G.W. their breasts and aren’t beaten by their husbands.  The flag in the public square is taken down and replaced by that of the red, white, and blue.  George W. Bush is the face on all Iraqi currency.

Keep in mind, this is just my pitch.  If Hollywood wants to give me some money, I will gladly quit my job to write the screenplay.

Here are some conceptual photos, on the house: