“Women wear padded bras to make their junk look bigger. I wear padded boxers so my thighs don’t get bruised when I’m walking.”
–Juicejohn joking about his large penis or “thigh-slapper” (which is also a joke.)
UNNECESSARY EXPLANATION OF JOKE: You see, my hypothetical penis in this scenario is so large that something as simple as walking causes it to swing back and forth like a pendulum. With every step I take, my dangle gains momentum and eventually starts to violently slap against my thighs — causing bruises. Henceforth thereto — padded boxers.
I think my work here is done for the week.
“Sometimes life is so AWESOME that I need to express it loudly and incoherently.”
“I think that’s why I like concerts.”
–Juicejohn on life.
If you know me in real life and come to this website, you should know that I don’t mean anything I say. As Juicejohn, I’m blogging through a character — that is coincidentally just like me — but a character nonetheless. I stand behind nothing I’ve ever said or will eventually will say.
Juicejohn (me) found that last Minimalist Comic to be extremely funny, heartwarming, and ironic. Meanwhile, nobody liked it. Juicejohn understands that he doesn’t have the biggest following, but for no one to like it… it must have really bombed.
Meanwhile, Realjohn (me) is glad that the blogging community won’t stand for such profane material. Realjohn allowed that Juicejohn comic to be published in order to challenge you. Congratulations — you and the entire internet passed the test.
I’m confident that everything has been cleared up and there will be no more confusion?
“I’m a lot like Secret antiperspirant. I’m guaranteed to keep women dry all day and all night.”
–Juicejohn on Juicejohn.
“I’m beginning to think that the cologne I’ve been using doubles as vagina repellent.”
–Juicejohn on dating.